What do I do when I am no longer an unknown quantity to someone else, especially my loved ones? Should I relish how well she understands me, or should I writhe in pain over being so damned predictable? Isn't variety the spice of life? Isn't it virtue to be the rock that someone can rely on - being predictable and dependable? Can all this be within one person?
It was Sunday morning. The sun was shining in through the windows and I woke up. My dearest lay beside me occupying most of the bed and with her mouth open. She seemed dead for the most part, but the light rhythmic snoring gave me hope that there might be life after all. I pulled out my camera phone and tried to video capture the elusive scene. Next time she claims that she doesn't snore, I could prove it to her! But alas, just as I turned, I shook the bed and the snoring was gone. Drat!
I had made up my mind the previous night to head to the office early. So I woke up at eight and began taking my hour long shower. As soon as I came out of the shower, I see that she has gotten out of bed and made breakfast. I look at her quizzically and she replied saying, "I woke a little after you did. I wanted to make you breakfast. So I did. Guess what I made for you?"
Without question I knew this was going to be one of her demonstrations of how well she knows me. She had me figured down to a science but I wasn't going to go out without a fight. I wanted to remain unpredictable, uncharted, unknown and mysterious. But she knew that too. She even had my unpredicability, my wildest impulses, my impromptu behaviors all figured out. I was dealing with the United States Secret Service with ESP capabilities. But as I do in situations where I am matched up against someone who I know is better than me, I was going to give it my best shot and not care about the consequences. So without much hope of winning the title for the most unpredictable person, I said the weirdest thing that came to mind - "Eggs Benedict?"
To which she said, "Yes! Here you are! Isn't it lovely that I know you so well?!"
Mother...!
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Strawberries and Cream
Okay people, here's another episode in the lives of Ajay and Avi. Tell me what you think! :)
The traffic had died down now that it was a little past eight in the evening, late for most others. Ajay had finished his work and had called me to check if I was done as well. A guy in the office was working a little more diligently than usual trying to meet Thursday’s deadline - an effort that I shouldn’t thwart if possible - so I told Ajay to head home and that I’d just take a rickshaw back.
He had agreed and put the phone down, and had nonetheless appeared at the office a half-hour later with ice cream from Corner House. I couldn’t help break out into a smile when I saw him at the door, package in hand, smile on face. He came in and sat across the table and began to remove and lay out everything without saying a word. Without needing to explain.
I heard a knock on the glass door. It was Vinay.
“Avi, I’m going to head off now, I’ll finish up on Monday. I’m just too tired to think right now,” he said.
I wanted to kill him. If it wasn’t for him, I could have headed home early and spent the evening with my lover-boy instead, doing something romantic. But then again, lover-boy was here, and we were doing something romantic, so I guess there’s no need to split hairs over this.
“Alright, off you go. I’ll see you on Monday.” I said, smiling.
Vinay turned to leave, nodding to Ajay, who smiled back. I guess Ajay was a regular at the office. And NOT someone most people would forget. Ajay was magnetic – he had charm that could melt butter at a distance of thirty-two feet (yes I had measured), and people’s hearts were putty in his hands. So, yeah, it was pretty hard for most people to forget him after he had had even the slightest bit of interaction with them.
Me? Most people did not forget me either, but for rather different reasons. A family trait, I had one of the most volatile tempers known to mankind. It would take me all of two seconds to change from being at peace with the universe and all it’s children, to a Tsunami that spared no one. And back again. So, yeah, we were, as a couple, wholly unforgettable.
There was a pitter-pattering on the windowpane, and I turned to see droplets of water lashing against the glass. The water drowned out the noise outside, and I heard the city sigh and shake the day’s toil out of her hair.
Ajay pulled his chair to and relaxed into it. I loosened my tie, and stared at his face, watching how every gentle feature looked in the soft yellow light. There were no sharp corners, just warm, fuzzy edges everywhere. A full, pink set of lips stood out like an island on his fair face. His eyes caught the light and danced a naughty, innocent dance, while his thick black eyelashes fanned them lazily. A hint of stubble ran across his beard giving him a rugged look, and adding to the depth in his personality.
I had been staring silently for a while and had been filled with a sense of peace that spread right through my being. Here was a love that overwhelmed me, a love that I had waited for all my life. The brilliant moment that I met him ran through my mind yet again and a smile crossed my heart in recognition of how lucky I was. I was finding it hard to breathe. I loved this guy so much; I was feeling blessed, glad to be alive, glad to be in love with this perfect human being.
It hadn’t always been like this – it wasn’t always that that I had only love for him. I had been jealous in the beginning. I was absolutely stunned at the effect he had on people. It was absolutely unfair according to me, that he had this power and I didn’t. I had really wanted to bonk all those women who came in shyly into my office, and asked about him once Ajay had come and gone. But then it dawned on me that the object of their affection was mine, that he wasn’t running anywhere, and that he was fast becoming part and parcel of who I was. Eventually the bonking urge disappeared and I began to revel in the attention that Ajay got. You see, I had begun to take them as personal compliments.
I guess you can say I had fallen in love.
And there he was, sitting across the desk, waiting to share strawberries and cream with me.
I got up from my table and padded silently across the carpet to him. I cupped his face in my hands as I reached him, and he squeezed his lips together until he looked like a pleasantly surprised goldfish. I just had to kiss the fellow now didn’t I!
He grabbed me with both hands and drew me into him. His hands caressed my back and I melted into his arms, his lips, and his glorious presence. My hands were running through his short hair, touching his head, feeling every strand, each finger wanting more.
We kissed for quite some time. I withdrew eventually, and turned and sat down between his legs, my back to his chest. His arms were quick to encircle me, softly. I felt his lips on the back of my neck.
“How was your day honey?” he asked, slowly smoothing my hair.
“Well, one of my good people quit. And then there was a phone battle with Mani at Virat. Those jokers just can’t seem to be able to make up their mind about anything, and I end up having to scurry to make the deadlines.” I said, exasperatedly recounting the day’s events.
There was a pause, and then Ajay piped up “Hmm!”
I laughed. “Fine, my day was just fine; sorry I killed the mood. How was your day honey?” I asked back, smiling, twisting my head to have a better look.
“It’s picking up,” he said, smiling back, reaching for the strawberries and cream.
The traffic had died down now that it was a little past eight in the evening, late for most others. Ajay had finished his work and had called me to check if I was done as well. A guy in the office was working a little more diligently than usual trying to meet Thursday’s deadline - an effort that I shouldn’t thwart if possible - so I told Ajay to head home and that I’d just take a rickshaw back.
He had agreed and put the phone down, and had nonetheless appeared at the office a half-hour later with ice cream from Corner House. I couldn’t help break out into a smile when I saw him at the door, package in hand, smile on face. He came in and sat across the table and began to remove and lay out everything without saying a word. Without needing to explain.
I heard a knock on the glass door. It was Vinay.
“Avi, I’m going to head off now, I’ll finish up on Monday. I’m just too tired to think right now,” he said.
I wanted to kill him. If it wasn’t for him, I could have headed home early and spent the evening with my lover-boy instead, doing something romantic. But then again, lover-boy was here, and we were doing something romantic, so I guess there’s no need to split hairs over this.
“Alright, off you go. I’ll see you on Monday.” I said, smiling.
Vinay turned to leave, nodding to Ajay, who smiled back. I guess Ajay was a regular at the office. And NOT someone most people would forget. Ajay was magnetic – he had charm that could melt butter at a distance of thirty-two feet (yes I had measured), and people’s hearts were putty in his hands. So, yeah, it was pretty hard for most people to forget him after he had had even the slightest bit of interaction with them.
Me? Most people did not forget me either, but for rather different reasons. A family trait, I had one of the most volatile tempers known to mankind. It would take me all of two seconds to change from being at peace with the universe and all it’s children, to a Tsunami that spared no one. And back again. So, yeah, we were, as a couple, wholly unforgettable.
There was a pitter-pattering on the windowpane, and I turned to see droplets of water lashing against the glass. The water drowned out the noise outside, and I heard the city sigh and shake the day’s toil out of her hair.
Ajay pulled his chair to and relaxed into it. I loosened my tie, and stared at his face, watching how every gentle feature looked in the soft yellow light. There were no sharp corners, just warm, fuzzy edges everywhere. A full, pink set of lips stood out like an island on his fair face. His eyes caught the light and danced a naughty, innocent dance, while his thick black eyelashes fanned them lazily. A hint of stubble ran across his beard giving him a rugged look, and adding to the depth in his personality.
I had been staring silently for a while and had been filled with a sense of peace that spread right through my being. Here was a love that overwhelmed me, a love that I had waited for all my life. The brilliant moment that I met him ran through my mind yet again and a smile crossed my heart in recognition of how lucky I was. I was finding it hard to breathe. I loved this guy so much; I was feeling blessed, glad to be alive, glad to be in love with this perfect human being.
It hadn’t always been like this – it wasn’t always that that I had only love for him. I had been jealous in the beginning. I was absolutely stunned at the effect he had on people. It was absolutely unfair according to me, that he had this power and I didn’t. I had really wanted to bonk all those women who came in shyly into my office, and asked about him once Ajay had come and gone. But then it dawned on me that the object of their affection was mine, that he wasn’t running anywhere, and that he was fast becoming part and parcel of who I was. Eventually the bonking urge disappeared and I began to revel in the attention that Ajay got. You see, I had begun to take them as personal compliments.
I guess you can say I had fallen in love.
And there he was, sitting across the desk, waiting to share strawberries and cream with me.
I got up from my table and padded silently across the carpet to him. I cupped his face in my hands as I reached him, and he squeezed his lips together until he looked like a pleasantly surprised goldfish. I just had to kiss the fellow now didn’t I!
He grabbed me with both hands and drew me into him. His hands caressed my back and I melted into his arms, his lips, and his glorious presence. My hands were running through his short hair, touching his head, feeling every strand, each finger wanting more.
We kissed for quite some time. I withdrew eventually, and turned and sat down between his legs, my back to his chest. His arms were quick to encircle me, softly. I felt his lips on the back of my neck.
“How was your day honey?” he asked, slowly smoothing my hair.
“Well, one of my good people quit. And then there was a phone battle with Mani at Virat. Those jokers just can’t seem to be able to make up their mind about anything, and I end up having to scurry to make the deadlines.” I said, exasperatedly recounting the day’s events.
There was a pause, and then Ajay piped up “Hmm!”
I laughed. “Fine, my day was just fine; sorry I killed the mood. How was your day honey?” I asked back, smiling, twisting my head to have a better look.
“It’s picking up,” he said, smiling back, reaching for the strawberries and cream.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Market mein hulchul...
Ustad Charan Biryanee Kha[n] markit mein ek din guzar rahe the, unke begumne unko sabji leke aane ki hukum jo dee thi. Ustaad Charan Biryanee Kha[n] kuch jaane pehchaane hone ke wajah se kaeen log salaam kiye. Aur bhaag gaye. Utni, uh, kadar karte jo the.
Ustaad Charan Biryanee Kha[n] Nehru gali mein jaate rahe ki achaanak unke priy shishy Anmol (jinka last name Ratan tha) ke oopar unki nazar pad gayi. Anmol miyaan coffee shop mein chaay peete kisi pustak mein doob mar rahe the (weh "doobe huen" nahin, "doob mar rahe the" kyoon ki unko pichle hafte heen Urdu ke akshar sikhaya gaya tha) aur isi liye Ustad ke aahat ko pehchaane nahin. Warna weh bhi chalaang marke...uh apni kadar dikha dete.
Ustaad unke back par ek slap karke, Anmol miyaan ke baaju bench pe bait gaye. Anmol miyaan ke hosh aate heen weh bhaagne ki koshish kee thee, par Ustad salaam ke bajaay jamke hug kar rahe the tho Anmol miyaan ko wapas bench par baitna pada. Unke sir par paseena nikalna shuru ho gaya. Unhone ek green rang ki ek rumaal nikaalke usko ponch dee.
Anmol miyaan Ustad ke shishy apne khushi se nahin, par apne Ma ki aakhri ichchaa poora karne ke liye unke shishy ban chuke the. Aap mujhe galat na samjhe - Anmol miyaan shayad Ustaad ke yahan phir bhi shiksha ke liye jaate. Shayad. Aur unke Ma ke maanasik santulan theek nahin hone ke baare mein saalon se khabar phehli thee. Weh jab bhi public mein dikhaai padte tho koi na koi unko paththar maar deta. Par Anmol miyaan shayad apne taraf se bhi Ustaad ke yaha shaamil ho sakte the. Shayad. Aur waise bhi Anmol miyaan ki kismat waise bhi phooti thee...
Apne heen wachan se bandhe hone ke wajah se, Anmol miyaan hichakte huen Ustad ke yahaan shishy ban gaye the. Jab bhi Ustaad ko dekhte tho Anmol miyaan ko apni Ma ki yaad, aur us dukh bhari pal (unke Ma ki gujarne ki, Ustaad ke yahaan shamil hone ki nahin) yaad aa jaata. Anmol miyaan apne paakit mein se ek batuwaa nikaalke, apne Ma ki ek gandi black and white tasveer ko nihaare. Unke Ma us tasveer mein phoot phoot ke has rahi thee. Anmol miyaan ke aankhon mein aansoon nikal aayee.
Ustad unse pooche: "Anmol miyaan, aap ro kyoon rahe hai? Roiye mat, us se kuch bhi hal nahin hota hai. Mujhse poochiye, main jaanta hoon majbooriyon ke baare mein. Maine isi ke baare mein ek shaayari bhi likh chuka hoon." Ustad wahin pause kiye, par Anmol miyaan kuch pooche nahin - woh apne ghum mein doobe hue the. Ustaad phir se try kiye - "Kya aap mere shayari sunenge?" Anmol miyaan apna sar "Nahin!" bolte huen hilaaye, par Ustad jaldi se nazar pher liye aur unke ishaaron ko ignore karte huen aage nikal pade. Anmol miyaan ke aansoon thoda aur mote ho gaye.
"Tho haazir hain...
Bhejthi hai hume sabji le aane ko,
Pehchaanti nahin hamari asli kaabilyat,
Batata, pyaas ke chakkar mein lage rahthe hai hum,
Hamaare haaton kat jaatee hain tamaatar sata sat.
Biwi hai hamaaree moti bhains jaisi,
Akal bhi utni hai, moti bhains ki jitni,
Haso mat mere humdard, mere doston,
Chalees minit ki baath-cheeth hoti hai roz beech un dono ki.
Pooch rahi thi us din kisi guzarti bhains ko -
Kaali thi bhains sab bhains jaisi -
Pata nahin biwi pehchaan kaise leti hai sabko,
Hogi rishtedaar kisi na kisi janam ki.
'Tumhaari maa kaisi hai, tumhaare bacche kaise hai,
Tumhaara khaandaan kya hai theek thaak?'
Utsukta se biwi pooch na rahee thee aangan se,
Mundi hila rahi thi woh bhains sadak pe kya khaak?
Aisi jab humdardi hain un donon ke beech mein,
Aisi jab sahi salaamat hai yeh jodi,
Aisi jab hain pyaar aur mohabbat beech unke,
Markit nahin gaya tho kuchla jaaoonga thodi.
Shaayari ki ma-behn ho jaati hai,
Labz sil jaate hai kahi na kahi,
Par karoon tho main karoon kya,
Thoda muhje hai jaan pyaaree.
Sheher ke kone kone jasoos chipe hote hain,
Baat sunte rehthe hai kaalee bhains meri,
Kisi slim and trim item se baat karoon tho,
Khabar pahunch jaati hai Moti ko turanth hee.
Is mahol se bachaale eh Khuda,
Uthale meri biwi bhains ko jo hai pyaree,
Talaak tho nahin de sakta hoon usko,
'Bhains se shaadi' suna hai kabhi?"
Kasht hoga yeh kaam zara,
Badan dard hoga do teen mahine ki,
Par uthale mere sir se yeh bala,
Seh sakte tho aap hain, mai nahin."
Ustaad unke priy shishy Anmol miyaan ke oar dekhthe thoda muskurae, par Anmol miyaan bahot ro rahe the. Ustaad samjhe ki Anmol miyaan shayari mein bhare dard ke wajah se ro rahe the. Ustaad apne bhavanaon mein kho gaye. Unke man ke mehfil mein sainkdo log jamkar unke oopar phool barsa rahe the. Unke shoulder ke oopar leke jhoom rahi thi poori audience. Sab oar se "Wah wah!" ki goonj ho rahi thi, aur sainkdo, karoron logon ke naachne se dharti dham dham kar rahi thi. Ustad Charan Biryaanee Kha[n] jannat mein the, aur unke mooh par ek nanhi si ek haseen aayee.
Anmol miyaan jo ab tak apni phooti kismat ke oopar aansoon baha rahe the achanak "USTAAD BHAAGOOO!!!" chillakar bhaag gaye. Ustad Charan Biryaanee Kha[n] apne peeche mudkar dekhe tho sainkdo karoro bhains unka peecha karte huen bhaagke aa rahe the.
Ustaad Charan Biryanee Kha[n] Nehru gali mein jaate rahe ki achaanak unke priy shishy Anmol (jinka last name Ratan tha) ke oopar unki nazar pad gayi. Anmol miyaan coffee shop mein chaay peete kisi pustak mein doob mar rahe the (weh "doobe huen" nahin, "doob mar rahe the" kyoon ki unko pichle hafte heen Urdu ke akshar sikhaya gaya tha) aur isi liye Ustad ke aahat ko pehchaane nahin. Warna weh bhi chalaang marke...uh apni kadar dikha dete.
Ustaad unke back par ek slap karke, Anmol miyaan ke baaju bench pe bait gaye. Anmol miyaan ke hosh aate heen weh bhaagne ki koshish kee thee, par Ustad salaam ke bajaay jamke hug kar rahe the tho Anmol miyaan ko wapas bench par baitna pada. Unke sir par paseena nikalna shuru ho gaya. Unhone ek green rang ki ek rumaal nikaalke usko ponch dee.
Anmol miyaan Ustad ke shishy apne khushi se nahin, par apne Ma ki aakhri ichchaa poora karne ke liye unke shishy ban chuke the. Aap mujhe galat na samjhe - Anmol miyaan shayad Ustaad ke yahan phir bhi shiksha ke liye jaate. Shayad. Aur unke Ma ke maanasik santulan theek nahin hone ke baare mein saalon se khabar phehli thee. Weh jab bhi public mein dikhaai padte tho koi na koi unko paththar maar deta. Par Anmol miyaan shayad apne taraf se bhi Ustaad ke yaha shaamil ho sakte the. Shayad. Aur waise bhi Anmol miyaan ki kismat waise bhi phooti thee...
Apne heen wachan se bandhe hone ke wajah se, Anmol miyaan hichakte huen Ustad ke yahaan shishy ban gaye the. Jab bhi Ustaad ko dekhte tho Anmol miyaan ko apni Ma ki yaad, aur us dukh bhari pal (unke Ma ki gujarne ki, Ustaad ke yahaan shamil hone ki nahin) yaad aa jaata. Anmol miyaan apne paakit mein se ek batuwaa nikaalke, apne Ma ki ek gandi black and white tasveer ko nihaare. Unke Ma us tasveer mein phoot phoot ke has rahi thee. Anmol miyaan ke aankhon mein aansoon nikal aayee.
Ustad unse pooche: "Anmol miyaan, aap ro kyoon rahe hai? Roiye mat, us se kuch bhi hal nahin hota hai. Mujhse poochiye, main jaanta hoon majbooriyon ke baare mein. Maine isi ke baare mein ek shaayari bhi likh chuka hoon." Ustad wahin pause kiye, par Anmol miyaan kuch pooche nahin - woh apne ghum mein doobe hue the. Ustaad phir se try kiye - "Kya aap mere shayari sunenge?" Anmol miyaan apna sar "Nahin!" bolte huen hilaaye, par Ustad jaldi se nazar pher liye aur unke ishaaron ko ignore karte huen aage nikal pade. Anmol miyaan ke aansoon thoda aur mote ho gaye.
"Tho haazir hain...
Bhejthi hai hume sabji le aane ko,
Pehchaanti nahin hamari asli kaabilyat,
Batata, pyaas ke chakkar mein lage rahthe hai hum,
Hamaare haaton kat jaatee hain tamaatar sata sat.
Biwi hai hamaaree moti bhains jaisi,
Akal bhi utni hai, moti bhains ki jitni,
Haso mat mere humdard, mere doston,
Chalees minit ki baath-cheeth hoti hai roz beech un dono ki.
Pooch rahi thi us din kisi guzarti bhains ko -
Kaali thi bhains sab bhains jaisi -
Pata nahin biwi pehchaan kaise leti hai sabko,
Hogi rishtedaar kisi na kisi janam ki.
'Tumhaari maa kaisi hai, tumhaare bacche kaise hai,
Tumhaara khaandaan kya hai theek thaak?'
Utsukta se biwi pooch na rahee thee aangan se,
Mundi hila rahi thi woh bhains sadak pe kya khaak?
Aisi jab humdardi hain un donon ke beech mein,
Aisi jab sahi salaamat hai yeh jodi,
Aisi jab hain pyaar aur mohabbat beech unke,
Markit nahin gaya tho kuchla jaaoonga thodi.
Shaayari ki ma-behn ho jaati hai,
Labz sil jaate hai kahi na kahi,
Par karoon tho main karoon kya,
Thoda muhje hai jaan pyaaree.
Sheher ke kone kone jasoos chipe hote hain,
Baat sunte rehthe hai kaalee bhains meri,
Kisi slim and trim item se baat karoon tho,
Khabar pahunch jaati hai Moti ko turanth hee.
Is mahol se bachaale eh Khuda,
Uthale meri biwi bhains ko jo hai pyaree,
Talaak tho nahin de sakta hoon usko,
'Bhains se shaadi' suna hai kabhi?"
Kasht hoga yeh kaam zara,
Badan dard hoga do teen mahine ki,
Par uthale mere sir se yeh bala,
Seh sakte tho aap hain, mai nahin."
Ustaad unke priy shishy Anmol miyaan ke oar dekhthe thoda muskurae, par Anmol miyaan bahot ro rahe the. Ustaad samjhe ki Anmol miyaan shayari mein bhare dard ke wajah se ro rahe the. Ustaad apne bhavanaon mein kho gaye. Unke man ke mehfil mein sainkdo log jamkar unke oopar phool barsa rahe the. Unke shoulder ke oopar leke jhoom rahi thi poori audience. Sab oar se "Wah wah!" ki goonj ho rahi thi, aur sainkdo, karoron logon ke naachne se dharti dham dham kar rahi thi. Ustad Charan Biryaanee Kha[n] jannat mein the, aur unke mooh par ek nanhi si ek haseen aayee.
Anmol miyaan jo ab tak apni phooti kismat ke oopar aansoon baha rahe the achanak "USTAAD BHAAGOOO!!!" chillakar bhaag gaye. Ustad Charan Biryaanee Kha[n] apne peeche mudkar dekhe tho sainkdo karoro bhains unka peecha karte huen bhaagke aa rahe the.
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